It seems as though, all the storms, all the waves hitting this path, all only come when my guard is down. Why is that so? And what am i to do?
Haiz, my world is already so torn up, so broken, as if it has been hit so many times by the storm im protecting against. What do i do? I only see 2 choices, to stay and protect, or to return to my path and clean it up. This is almost not a question anymore...
I don't want to abandon the people who i feel closes to, and even if i did go back, i will just be alone again. There is no one walking on my path anymore, and i guess many have even forgotten about it, including me.
I really don't want to move from where i am, i am happy here, not alone, nor upset. But still, no human can stand aside to watch their world in the state mine is now. But there i am alone, not a person walks that path with me, and not a person will want to walk it with me.
For now, i will keep to the promise. I will
ALWAYS be here, no matter what happens to myself or my world. This is where i feel a sense of belonging, a sense of happiness. And no matter how crapped up my world gets, as long as i have to return to it alone, i will never go back to it.
Still my heart sinks, as i know im back to sitting here to watch and be ignored. The storm won't return unless im gone, so im back to doing nothing...... the feeling of unimportance is painful...
Im flooding with feelings, they make me want to cry, but i don't know what they are...
A sense of belonging
is more important then
a sense of achieving
