Today was ok i guess, spent the day in maple, helping cp, jie, and rick to hb while they spammed.had to cut my hair lol, it sucks.
Haiz, i don't know whether its because im tired or what. I just don't feel happy today, i guess thats the sign that the bottle in me is about to explode. I think it only leaked today, as only short bursts of pain hit me at a time.
Now im trying to think, why? I didn't know so much has been bottled up in such a short time, and now the pressure hurts even more.
i shedded a few tears earlier, i don't know why, and for awhile now my eyes are watering. What is this feeling im having, its not emptiness, its not a sense that something is coming, maybe, its just because i haven't talked to anyone much since the middle of the holidays...
Haiz, school again tomorrow, let the hiding and lies begin, no one in school must find out about this.
I really didn't feel like it was fair for for them if i were to spill all these emotions on everyone today, they just seem so happy at the beginning, and having develop their own problems at the end. Jie was happy at the beginning and now shes upset, i guess shes talking to cp now, who is taking care of her in her time of need. I don't think im who they need to hear now.... Everyone else just won't understand this problem, the line for them will be "your thinking too much" or "LOL wei yan is emo"......
AHHHHH I HATE MYSELF!!!! How come my options are so limited, why must it be now that i realize all this. Im lonely, with so few i can share with and those i can share with busy with their situations.
I know, right now i guess i should put myself at the last priority, and even if i think about it, i can't do anything alone, i just end up shedding tears...
I guess right now everyone including myself has put me at their last priority list, even if its just for work, im last priority. I enjoy this ability to sometimes be forgotten, to disappear, and be ignored, to be found later after i have gone, but sometimes that is what brings me down most...
