Slept earlier last night, but accidentally woke up at 5 instead of 7 because of the alarm=(
Today i was planing to do some studying, and hope that it would be a normal day. Who knew that i ended up slipping like never before...
I got pissed at my mom, because she just wouldn't admit her mistakes, and keeps walking out when people are pointing out her wrong. But thats not what im most concern about, i just told her i won't talk until she admits it.
My tired mind just wouldn't leave me alone today, something broke in me, caused so much thoughts, painful thoughts. CP asked me what was it about, friends, family, exam, or r/s, i don't know, part of everyone of them to be exact.
For my friends, i guess its just people who don't really think about me, just a bystander to them. For my family, im just so freaking pissed at all of them...
For exam and r/s, i really have no more fate in myself, every time i think about it, i see failure, probably more on r/s.
People ask me before, do i want one, i say no, but i do, im just afraid. Im afraid of pain, afraid to fall and not get up, like i see so many do=(.
I don't know whats wrong with me><, i feel like im losing sight of myself, like my existence to myself seems so irrelevant.
Haiz, now i ask myself, how? How could i not know myself anymore...
Now my feelings are taking over, i try to sing a part of a song, tears rush to my eyes, and i feel like something just punched my heart. It hurts...
I try to make my life so that i won't loose anymore, won't get hurt. I have nothing to loose, and lost nothing, how come i still fall? How come i still get hurt?
Pain...
Thats all i see
when i close my eyes
Trying to snap out of it
Just trying
