I feel so dazed, so tired, so crushed. The 1st 2 rest are over, english and chinese, anything can happen, my chinese, either fail completely, or pass well, my english, very well, or border line...
Last night and today i felt something, something forcing me to drag my life, force my legs to be weighted down, my arms, to be slowed. My body just feels so broken now, every move i make, feels like it going to hurt. But the wired thing is, that its not the limps that i move that threatens to hurt, it is my heart.
I keep hearing seemingly angry voices, but theres no one around. The tensions has passed its limits awhile ago. Now i feel lonely, every ones busy now, no one with me now, no one cheering me on. But the feeling, each time i get that i try to knock it out by thinking about those already with me. But even my mind learns, and now rejects any thoughts that can knock those feelings away.
I feel so broken, so out of touch, so much pain, lonely, but these are feelings everyone would feel when their in my state. Tired, sleepy, having headache, merely side effect of sleeping late.
I have not said anything since i put down the phone with jie earlier. Im trying to hold in the screams, the tears that just want to break out now. I wonder if thats the right thing to do, an angry voice at the back of my head tells me no.
I still don't know my problems, now it just feels like a heart full of pain, head full of stress, hand full of anger held in my chest.
Now the wait begins, for the exam to restart. I want to use the time and try and pull myself together. Just hope i don't end up with more pain=(, it already hurts so bad...
I need help to get through this...
I am crumbling
wish it could
just stop...
Hope jiejie is ok=(
