Still haven heard from Beebee since ytd, really missing her=( can't stop worrying about her><, Jiejie is still at work hopefully shes ok=(, i still feel guilty about ignoring her everytime beebee is around><, and i have no mood to play dota with cp now. This is the 1st time i got to think since being with Beebee, reflect on the mistakes i have made, and how people has seen me change. I still feel the same inside, i still want to see others happy, and i still feel so much pain when i disappoint others=(.
I know, how you guys see me now, i know, all the mistakes i have made, one of which was neglecting jiejie and cp when bee is around, And im sorry, really really sorry, if i had changed into something, that even i would hate. And im sorry if my changes have affected how i treat u guys=(. This really is something new to me, i have never felt like this before. I swear, i will never change inside.
The promise i want to keep now, to never change, to never neglect anyone close to me ever again. I never want to see u people, especially anyone of u guys, to think that i have changed and will never change back. Never want to see u guys, after all we've been through, hate me, because of my own mistake=(.
I can't imagine this world, if any of u leave me. I want to keep our friendship, to treat and be treated like before.
And i know now, i know what i need to change, and i know i have to start 1st. To fix them, to take back everything i have done wrong so far.
I was caught
between my pride
and my promise
But now,
for my pride
and my promise
i will fix my mistakes
and will never
make them again
