Today i feel awful. The sadness that i feel inside is maddening><. i really just wan to bang my head into the wall=(. The grueling sadness has given me such a clear picture of how its going to happen... I really just want to drive my head deep into the wall, and see the blood flow=(.
I got teased by my supposed "best friend". What can i say? He wouldn't even listen. And even if he did, my life here cannot be known by people in school, including him. I was tearing up, but yet he pushes. I don't know how i came to have people like that as friends. I have been sulking at him and all those who had joined him in tormenting me today. Will probably talk to him again next week.
I HATE IT when the people i thought of as trust worthy and thoughtful turn their backs on me like that. Not a single word or concern even with tears flowing from my eyes.
I guess people in school are just like that. But im sure of others who will never be like that, Like jie, CP, my beebee darling. Those are the people i want to be with, not those who cause more pain, just for the sake of being "funny".
i guess i just wan someone to turn to=(, those people i know i could trust were busy. So i had no one left to turn to... Jiejie was busy with her end of month stuff, beebee was still in the hospital, and i didn't feel comfortable shedding tears wen talking to cp. I guess i will be ok tomorrow. It should be better.
ME MISSES YOU DARLING!!! Really can't stop thinking about you=(. Will always love you!!<3
I want to forget
does that mean
that i should forgive them?
I want to turn to them
but what if
their not around
when i need them most?
I want to help her
but what if by helping
im making it harderto make her feel better?
